Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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