I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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