I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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