Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
