I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I believe in your delicious
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
