So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You smell like stripper and shame
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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