I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just cropdusted the office
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
