we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
