im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
