I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize