we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
how drunk are you?
Several
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize