She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
