so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
