They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
