I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Hippo gnu deer
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
