i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
