i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
