They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
