Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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