just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize