i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
