She's JV to your varsity
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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