My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
