i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
