a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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