2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
