This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We need a shit load of segways right now
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
