Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
