my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
