i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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