we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize