I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize