im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
