hell yes lets make some ravioli
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
