I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
