Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
