I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
