Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Soap is not a condiment
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
