glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
