you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
