So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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