Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
