Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
