I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
And then he peed in my hair
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
