last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
