with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
