return my video game
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
