guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize