just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
