my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
