names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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