Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
