It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize