My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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