He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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