Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
