i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
