im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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