I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize