i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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