My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
