just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
