I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
