I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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