i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
