____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
