whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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