Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
