HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize