hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
