I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
